


Fuck, Marry, Kill

by Brenda



Series: The Lazy Hazy Summer Daze Writing Challenge [22]
Category: Lord of the Rings RPF, The Hobbit RPF
Genre: M/M, The Lazy Hazy Summer Daze Writing Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-02
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-22 05:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/909453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brenda/pseuds/Brenda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has a question.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fuck, Marry, Kill

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the twenty-second day of the **[The Lazy Hazy Summer Daze Writing Challenge](http://azewewish.livejournal.com/1074772.html)** for [](http://lobelia321.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://lobelia321.livejournal.com/)**lobelia321** , who wanted group dwarf sex. I live to please. *g*

"I have a question for you."

"Ah, Christ, not another round of Fuck, Marry, Kill, alright, Orlando's still giving me grief for that."

"Well, in your defense, I was asking you to choose between him and Luke."

"Exactly, and Orlando's got the family already and is a dad and that would make him great marriage material, I think, but no, he got all huffy over the thought that he wasn't a sex object anymore, and you have no idea the lengths I had to go to in order prove to him that he's still got it."

"I hope someone filmed this. Because that would fetch a nice price."

"You're a right pervert, Dean."

"Why thank you, that's so sweet of you to notice."

"But it wasn't anything like that. Although I did find out quite a few juicy tidbits about a certain Elf and a certain former Captain of Rohan, now CMO of the USS Enterprise..."

"We are definitely revisiting this topic, but, that's not my question. Although you know Ian's going to wonder why he didn't win Fuck, Marry, Kill, either."

"Because Ian's a lecherous and handsy bastard who has no concept of personal space and I refuse to reward his bad behavior."

"And yet, we'd all still hit that."

"Like the angry fist of God, absolutely. Now, what _was_ your question?"

"So, if all of the dwarves were feeling kinda frisky and –"

"God no, c'mon, don't put –"

" – and were wanting some dwarvish McLoving action –"

"Seriously, I hate you so much right now –"

" – who do you think would be the team fluffer?"

"Nesbitt put you up to this, didn't he?"

"This is a legitimate, serious question, mate."

"Or...it was Armitage, wasn't it?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny."

"Christ, can you simply tell him if he wants to find out if I'm interested to ask me proper like a normal bloke and not scar me for life by getting you to put dwarf sex in my head."

"So...that means sex in costume is out or – ouch, fuck, alright, alright, I'll let him know."

***


End file.
